Been thinking about you again today. I imagine you will be starting school this year. You don't know how tempting is is to figure out which school you will be attending and taking on a volunteer job there just to catch a glimpse of you once in a while. But I know your dad -- he would be upset and both of us and your mother would pay for it. It is not worth risking your safety and happiness for that. I hope that some day you will be big enough to do what you want and maybe come see me. I just live down the street from you -- about 2 miles north. I don't know if I'll still be living there when you're old enough to read this, if you ever do.
I hope you have wonderful teachers.
Love, Grandma A.
Thursday, August 4, 2016
Thursday, June 16, 2016
2016
Hi, boys!
It's been a long time since I wrote to you. I should write more often. I've been very busy this past year or so with a lot of events that have changed my life. I got a divorce from your grandpa. We had a lot of problems. I tried to be a good wife and make it work, but he didn't want to help me, so I got a divorce. I moved into a condominium and then later found out that your mom and dad had a new address. I found them on the internet and discovered that you live very close to where I live now. I wish I could just go over there and give you both a big hug. I wish every day that I could see you. I wish you could come and visit me and swim in my swimming pool. You probably already have one, though.
My mother died this year. Your dad refused to come to the funeral because I would be there. I know that he is hurting because someone once told me that "hurting people hurt people," so he's trying to hurt me, I know. The funny thing is, it's his own doing. If he could just forgive people and get over it, this would all be unnecessary. I wonder what he tells you to justify keeping you away from your grandparents. I hope he isn't teaching you to hate me or be afraid of me. Trust me when I say that my not coming to see you is because he won't let me, not because I don't want to. I'm afraid that if I reach out, he will get mad and take it out on you. I NEVER want to put you in the position of having to face his wrath because of me.
Anyway, your other grandma posted some pictures of you on her Facebook, so I at least get to see pictures of you. One day, I was in the library and your mother was there. She either didn't see me or was ignoring me. I watched her leave and saw her get into her little red VW car and drive off. I could see you both in the back seat. I longed to reach out and touch your faces and hold you in my arms. I hope that some day you will see this and find me. I would love to see you.
Your other grandma came to my mother's funeral to support me. I enjoyed seeing her. She wanted to get together to go to lunch, but she never calls or contacts me. I've reached out to her a couple of times and she doesn't respond. I don't know if she's busy or what. It's a mystery.
I just wanted to write and say I still love you and think about you and hope that some day we will get to meet each other.
It's been a long time since I wrote to you. I should write more often. I've been very busy this past year or so with a lot of events that have changed my life. I got a divorce from your grandpa. We had a lot of problems. I tried to be a good wife and make it work, but he didn't want to help me, so I got a divorce. I moved into a condominium and then later found out that your mom and dad had a new address. I found them on the internet and discovered that you live very close to where I live now. I wish I could just go over there and give you both a big hug. I wish every day that I could see you. I wish you could come and visit me and swim in my swimming pool. You probably already have one, though.
My mother died this year. Your dad refused to come to the funeral because I would be there. I know that he is hurting because someone once told me that "hurting people hurt people," so he's trying to hurt me, I know. The funny thing is, it's his own doing. If he could just forgive people and get over it, this would all be unnecessary. I wonder what he tells you to justify keeping you away from your grandparents. I hope he isn't teaching you to hate me or be afraid of me. Trust me when I say that my not coming to see you is because he won't let me, not because I don't want to. I'm afraid that if I reach out, he will get mad and take it out on you. I NEVER want to put you in the position of having to face his wrath because of me.
Anyway, your other grandma posted some pictures of you on her Facebook, so I at least get to see pictures of you. One day, I was in the library and your mother was there. She either didn't see me or was ignoring me. I watched her leave and saw her get into her little red VW car and drive off. I could see you both in the back seat. I longed to reach out and touch your faces and hold you in my arms. I hope that some day you will see this and find me. I would love to see you.
Your other grandma came to my mother's funeral to support me. I enjoyed seeing her. She wanted to get together to go to lunch, but she never calls or contacts me. I've reached out to her a couple of times and she doesn't respond. I don't know if she's busy or what. It's a mystery.
I just wanted to write and say I still love you and think about you and hope that some day we will get to meet each other.
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