Been thinking about you again today. I imagine you will be starting school this year. You don't know how tempting is is to figure out which school you will be attending and taking on a volunteer job there just to catch a glimpse of you once in a while. But I know your dad -- he would be upset and both of us and your mother would pay for it. It is not worth risking your safety and happiness for that. I hope that some day you will be big enough to do what you want and maybe come see me. I just live down the street from you -- about 2 miles north. I don't know if I'll still be living there when you're old enough to read this, if you ever do.
I hope you have wonderful teachers.
Love, Grandma A.
Thursday, August 4, 2016
Thursday, June 16, 2016
2016
Hi, boys!
It's been a long time since I wrote to you. I should write more often. I've been very busy this past year or so with a lot of events that have changed my life. I got a divorce from your grandpa. We had a lot of problems. I tried to be a good wife and make it work, but he didn't want to help me, so I got a divorce. I moved into a condominium and then later found out that your mom and dad had a new address. I found them on the internet and discovered that you live very close to where I live now. I wish I could just go over there and give you both a big hug. I wish every day that I could see you. I wish you could come and visit me and swim in my swimming pool. You probably already have one, though.
My mother died this year. Your dad refused to come to the funeral because I would be there. I know that he is hurting because someone once told me that "hurting people hurt people," so he's trying to hurt me, I know. The funny thing is, it's his own doing. If he could just forgive people and get over it, this would all be unnecessary. I wonder what he tells you to justify keeping you away from your grandparents. I hope he isn't teaching you to hate me or be afraid of me. Trust me when I say that my not coming to see you is because he won't let me, not because I don't want to. I'm afraid that if I reach out, he will get mad and take it out on you. I NEVER want to put you in the position of having to face his wrath because of me.
Anyway, your other grandma posted some pictures of you on her Facebook, so I at least get to see pictures of you. One day, I was in the library and your mother was there. She either didn't see me or was ignoring me. I watched her leave and saw her get into her little red VW car and drive off. I could see you both in the back seat. I longed to reach out and touch your faces and hold you in my arms. I hope that some day you will see this and find me. I would love to see you.
Your other grandma came to my mother's funeral to support me. I enjoyed seeing her. She wanted to get together to go to lunch, but she never calls or contacts me. I've reached out to her a couple of times and she doesn't respond. I don't know if she's busy or what. It's a mystery.
I just wanted to write and say I still love you and think about you and hope that some day we will get to meet each other.
It's been a long time since I wrote to you. I should write more often. I've been very busy this past year or so with a lot of events that have changed my life. I got a divorce from your grandpa. We had a lot of problems. I tried to be a good wife and make it work, but he didn't want to help me, so I got a divorce. I moved into a condominium and then later found out that your mom and dad had a new address. I found them on the internet and discovered that you live very close to where I live now. I wish I could just go over there and give you both a big hug. I wish every day that I could see you. I wish you could come and visit me and swim in my swimming pool. You probably already have one, though.
My mother died this year. Your dad refused to come to the funeral because I would be there. I know that he is hurting because someone once told me that "hurting people hurt people," so he's trying to hurt me, I know. The funny thing is, it's his own doing. If he could just forgive people and get over it, this would all be unnecessary. I wonder what he tells you to justify keeping you away from your grandparents. I hope he isn't teaching you to hate me or be afraid of me. Trust me when I say that my not coming to see you is because he won't let me, not because I don't want to. I'm afraid that if I reach out, he will get mad and take it out on you. I NEVER want to put you in the position of having to face his wrath because of me.
Anyway, your other grandma posted some pictures of you on her Facebook, so I at least get to see pictures of you. One day, I was in the library and your mother was there. She either didn't see me or was ignoring me. I watched her leave and saw her get into her little red VW car and drive off. I could see you both in the back seat. I longed to reach out and touch your faces and hold you in my arms. I hope that some day you will see this and find me. I would love to see you.
Your other grandma came to my mother's funeral to support me. I enjoyed seeing her. She wanted to get together to go to lunch, but she never calls or contacts me. I've reached out to her a couple of times and she doesn't respond. I don't know if she's busy or what. It's a mystery.
I just wanted to write and say I still love you and think about you and hope that some day we will get to meet each other.
Tuesday, December 23, 2014
Hello to My Grandson
I'm creating this blog in the hope that my grandson will some day find me and know that I love him.
Once upon a time, there was a little boy. He was born into a house without any brothers and sisters. He had lots of friends and his mommy and daddy took care of him the best they could. His mommy and daddy both had jobs, but they weren't very rich. They saved their money by buying their clothes on sale, and sometimes at the thrift shops so that they didn't have to spend as much. They bought food on sale, and the mommy learned how to cook good things for less money. They ate a lot of spaghetti and hot dogs because they didn't cost very much. The mommy knew how to sew, so she made clothes for the little boy when he was very little because she loved him so much.
While he was growing up, she made him a superman cape that he could turn inside-out and it became a Zorro cape. The little boy loved the cape and pretended to be Superman and Zorro all the time. One time Mommy made him some pajamas that looked like the Cubs baseball uniform. He loved the cubs, especially Andre Dawson, who was his favorite player.
The little boy's daddy love him so much that he gave him everything he wanted. If the little boy wanted "Guess?" jeans, his daddy bought them for him, even though they were very expensive and the family couldn't afford them. The daddy would try to get them on sale, but it would mean that he had to go without buying new shoes for a while. The daddy needed new shoes because he worked standing on his feet all day and his everyday shoes would get worn out and have holes in them. But the daddy didn't care because he wanted to make his son happy.
As the little boy got older, he asked for more and more expensive things. And even though they still couldn't afford it, the daddy would give them to him. The daddy would never say "no," even though the mommy thought that it would be okay to do that and teach the boy how to earn his own things so that he would appreciate them more.
When the boy was in high school, he started getting mean and angry. He wanted everything his own way and didn't want to be around his mom and dad very much. When he did something wrong, he wouldn't apologize. He blamed other people for making him mad. His mother became afraid of him. She tried to do things to make him happy, but he was still unhappy. He just couldn't see that it was his own actions that made him unhappy.
When it was time for him to go to college, his mom and dad scrimped and saved to be able to pay for his education. They got a little bit of help from the dad's parents, but they paid for most of it themselves. This was possible because they had cashed in an investment years before to pay off their house. This made it possible to pay for college. They didn't spend any money on fixing up the house or buying new clothes or taking vacations, just so they could pay for their son's college education.
When the boy was in college, he got married, but his wife got sick and they didn't get along, so there was a divorce. A few years after that, he got married again, and after a while they had a little boy.
But before the baby boy was born -- before his parents even got pregnant -- he got his feelings hurt because he did something bad and we (his parents) called him on it and told him he needed to stop before he ruined his life. So he got mad at us and called us names and told us we were bad parents and never would speak to us again. Kind of a thirty-something version of a 5-year-old tantrum. "You hurt my feelings! You weren't nice to me! I hate you!"
Well, there was a lot more to it than that, of course. But, because he was so stubborn, he turned his back on his parents and never spoke to them (us) again. We tried to mend the fence and get him to calm down and communicate, but he refused. In the meantime, he and his wife had a baby boy (and named him after grandpa--go figure!). We sent them cards and gifts, but they were all returned, unopened, along with nasty, threatening e-mails.
That was over three years ago. My grandson is now almost three years old and I've never met him. They never send us pictures (but I've gotten a few from other people). I've never touched his sweet face. I've never felt his arms around my neck.
I'm writing this blog because I don't know what his dad will tell him when he gets old enough to wonder why his other grandparents aren't there. But if he ever Googles his name, I hope he will find this blog and know that I love him, and that I would love to see him some day.
Once upon a time, there was a little boy. He was born into a house without any brothers and sisters. He had lots of friends and his mommy and daddy took care of him the best they could. His mommy and daddy both had jobs, but they weren't very rich. They saved their money by buying their clothes on sale, and sometimes at the thrift shops so that they didn't have to spend as much. They bought food on sale, and the mommy learned how to cook good things for less money. They ate a lot of spaghetti and hot dogs because they didn't cost very much. The mommy knew how to sew, so she made clothes for the little boy when he was very little because she loved him so much.
While he was growing up, she made him a superman cape that he could turn inside-out and it became a Zorro cape. The little boy loved the cape and pretended to be Superman and Zorro all the time. One time Mommy made him some pajamas that looked like the Cubs baseball uniform. He loved the cubs, especially Andre Dawson, who was his favorite player.
The little boy's daddy love him so much that he gave him everything he wanted. If the little boy wanted "Guess?" jeans, his daddy bought them for him, even though they were very expensive and the family couldn't afford them. The daddy would try to get them on sale, but it would mean that he had to go without buying new shoes for a while. The daddy needed new shoes because he worked standing on his feet all day and his everyday shoes would get worn out and have holes in them. But the daddy didn't care because he wanted to make his son happy.
As the little boy got older, he asked for more and more expensive things. And even though they still couldn't afford it, the daddy would give them to him. The daddy would never say "no," even though the mommy thought that it would be okay to do that and teach the boy how to earn his own things so that he would appreciate them more.
When the boy was in high school, he started getting mean and angry. He wanted everything his own way and didn't want to be around his mom and dad very much. When he did something wrong, he wouldn't apologize. He blamed other people for making him mad. His mother became afraid of him. She tried to do things to make him happy, but he was still unhappy. He just couldn't see that it was his own actions that made him unhappy.
When it was time for him to go to college, his mom and dad scrimped and saved to be able to pay for his education. They got a little bit of help from the dad's parents, but they paid for most of it themselves. This was possible because they had cashed in an investment years before to pay off their house. This made it possible to pay for college. They didn't spend any money on fixing up the house or buying new clothes or taking vacations, just so they could pay for their son's college education.
When the boy was in college, he got married, but his wife got sick and they didn't get along, so there was a divorce. A few years after that, he got married again, and after a while they had a little boy.
But before the baby boy was born -- before his parents even got pregnant -- he got his feelings hurt because he did something bad and we (his parents) called him on it and told him he needed to stop before he ruined his life. So he got mad at us and called us names and told us we were bad parents and never would speak to us again. Kind of a thirty-something version of a 5-year-old tantrum. "You hurt my feelings! You weren't nice to me! I hate you!"
Well, there was a lot more to it than that, of course. But, because he was so stubborn, he turned his back on his parents and never spoke to them (us) again. We tried to mend the fence and get him to calm down and communicate, but he refused. In the meantime, he and his wife had a baby boy (and named him after grandpa--go figure!). We sent them cards and gifts, but they were all returned, unopened, along with nasty, threatening e-mails.
That was over three years ago. My grandson is now almost three years old and I've never met him. They never send us pictures (but I've gotten a few from other people). I've never touched his sweet face. I've never felt his arms around my neck.
I'm writing this blog because I don't know what his dad will tell him when he gets old enough to wonder why his other grandparents aren't there. But if he ever Googles his name, I hope he will find this blog and know that I love him, and that I would love to see him some day.
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
Merry Christmas
December 25, 2013
Merry Christmas, little one, wherever you are. You are almost three now! How I wish I could give you lots of big hugs and grandma kisses. I wanted to buy you some trucks and airplanes and games to play with for Christmas. I would love to play trucks with you on the floor. I have lots of cookies and candy that I could share with you, and I even bought a special ornament with your name on it to hang on your tree. I sure hope I get to meet you some day. I know I will like you. You can come play at my house any time you want.
Love,
Grandma
Merry Christmas, little one, wherever you are. You are almost three now! How I wish I could give you lots of big hugs and grandma kisses. I wanted to buy you some trucks and airplanes and games to play with for Christmas. I would love to play trucks with you on the floor. I have lots of cookies and candy that I could share with you, and I even bought a special ornament with your name on it to hang on your tree. I sure hope I get to meet you some day. I know I will like you. You can come play at my house any time you want.
Love,
Grandma
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